37 Pieces of Unsolicited Advice
I’m not saying it’s good. Just unsolicited
4 min readJul 31, 2022
- Walk 20% slower.
You won’t lose much time, but you’ll notice everything. - Don’t forget to look up.
I still discover new things even on my own street. - Befriend your neighbours.
Or better yet, neighbour your friends. - Always accept the glass of water.
Being a good guest is more about giving people the satisfaction of being a gracious host, rather than needing as little as possible. - Ask people what kind of flowers and desserts they like.
Ideally before you want to surprise them with either. - Charisma is not about expressing confidence.
It’s about confidently expressing everything else. - Being on vacation means you don’t have to hurry.
The second you do is the second you’re no longer on vacation. - Never go on a long drive or flight without snacks.
It’s scientifically impossible to bring too many snacks. - Don’t ask if you can use the bathroom.
Simply walk in ask where they are like you belong. - A lot of discounts are available just by asking.
Maybe that’s just Israel? Worth a try though. - Remember we’re pretty much always doing what we want.
If your life is full of drama, part of you probably wants it that way. - I love asking my friends “What would make you happiest?”
Especially when deciding where to eat or what to do next. And if it’s easy to do, my favourite thing is to go all in. - When meeting someone new, ask how their day was.
I like to think a person’s entire life is contained in a single day if you zoom in enough. This is just as useful when catching up with old friends. - The best way to ask someone out on a date is to ask them out on a date.
Asking someone to hang out might save you from rejection, but it doesn’t set you up for success either. - No one’s too busy to reply to a text message.
- Get dating advice from the type of person you’d want to date.
The same goes for fashion advice. - Don’t sleep with someone unless you’re excited to have breakfast with them.
Not having sex is better than sex with someone you‘d rather not hang out with. - Have a lunch break in the middle of your IKEA visit.
Ideally even outside. Trust me, it’s good for your marriage. - Don’t elevate your flaws to nobility.
Embrace them for what they are. There’s no need to justify them with moral principles. - Never argue with someone you don’t deeply care about.
Arguing is a massive cost of energy, save it for your most loved ones. - If it feels like a fight, don’t waste your time.
Take a break, and try again later. - Procrastinate on your bad habits.
It’s almost upsetting how effective this is. - Put people’s birthdays in your calendar.
It’s such an easy way to stay in touch. - Find habitual ways to keep in touch with your family.
It can be as simple as a weekly game of Mario Kart online, or wishing everyone Shabbat Shalom in the group chat. - Have a recurring Yes Day with your little cousins and nephews.
You’re not their parent, and they’ve never been told Yes to everything. So go make memories while they’re still excited to hang out with you. - When giving a talk, either say new things in familiar ways, or familiar things in new ways.
I’ve heard something similar about poetry. - All work stress is basically a response to manufactured urgency.
Remember that nothing bad actually happens if work is delayed. Whereas burnout is always around the corner. - Work will consume as much of you as you’re willing to give up.
We get the boundaries we set. - The best way to keep your plants alive
is to wait until the soil is completely dry, then shower them abundantly and let the surplus water drain for a while. Your plant knows how much water it needs, I don’t try to guess anymore. - Develop social hobbies.
And you can make friends anywhere you go. I like partner dancing, but I hear sports also works. - It’s usually by trying not to hurt people that we end up hurting them the most.
It’s been said that kindness without honesty is manipulation, whereas honesty without kindness is brutality. - Most relationship fights are about intimacy.
We’re all just trying to feel loved. - How strongly you‘re triggered is not a measure of how right you are.
In my experience, any conflict where you can’t see yourself take 50% of the responsibility is unlikely to get resolved. - Under anger, there is usually sadness.
I’d focus on that instead. - To (re)build trust, do what you said you were going to do.
Don’t do what you said you wouldn’t do. Take responsibility when you mess up. - Look at the dessert menu first, then plan your meal accordingly.
I’ve said it before, but the same goes for death and life. - I think a lot about what Kurt Vonnegut said.
The truth is we know so little about life, we don’t really know what the good news is and what the bad news is.
