Best of Portland

By Gabe, Eliza, Spencer, and Tal

Foreword

If you’ve seen the show, Portlandia, you’ll find that it’s more documentary than satire. Portlanders strive to keep portland weird, and for the most part, they’ve been successful.

It’s an isolated and homogenous place where residents curate and maintain their utopian vision. They strive to maintain these utopian values of inclusion, individualism, environmental stewardship and basic human decency, likely as a direct reaction to Oregon’s ugly and fairly recent history of backwards thinking — socially, environmentally, etc. Keep in mind that Oregon is rather tiny. To give you some perspective, California has 43,000,000+ more residents that Oregon, and roughly 60% Oregon’s population live in Portland. Portland is strange and wonderful place. Enjoy.

A few words of advice

• Be cautious when telling people you’re from… California
• You are visiting anytime from September — June, it will rain. Maybe not everyday of your trip, but maybe everyday of your trip.
• Recreational Marijuana is as legal as can be. Residents grow pot in their gardens on the side of the roads. Fancy boutiques offer pot giveaways with the purchase of expensive goods. There are billboards on the freeways that have 50ft photos of pot plants with a lady jumping in the air, reading “jump for cannabis!” It’s really weird.
• Portlanders are alarmingly friendly. It’s likely that you’ve become somewhat hardened in SF as a defense mechanism, which is fair. Do not be suspicious when portlanders are overly friendly to you. Do not be shocked at the insane and often dangerous level of courtesy drivers extend to each other on the road.
• Pedestrians/Bikes are vastly more important/entitled than cars and “you are a bad person for driving a car because you’re killing the earth and I’m just going to J-walk willy-nilly straight into oncoming traffic because cars are bad and you probably don’t recycle and if I get run over I will be remembered as a martyr for the cause of mother earth, man. And I only work 8 hours/week as a barista and my rent is $415/month and I can’t afford car insurance, but I’m writing this on my Mac as I brood in super hip but not too hip cafe drinking a $5.50 sustainably sourced macchiato.” Portlander’s hearts are in the right place, but sometimes they get a bit extreme.
• There is no sales tax in Oregon! So go buy a laptop or whatever.

Eats

• THE FOOD CARTS: The best and most unique part of Portland’s food scene. Pods of carts are all over the city, but my personal favorite is on SE 28th and Division
• Kachka — Russian food — highly recommend the tasting menu and vodka flights
• Pine State Biscuits — Fried Chicken, biscuits, gravy, etc.
• Screen Door — Southern Breakfast (always a long wait)
• Por Que No? — Hyper fresh Mexican food
• Luce — Casual but gorgeous Italian cuisine
• Hat Yai — Thai/Southern Fried Chicken
• Helen Bernhardt — Old school donuts (better than Voodoo)
• Apizza Scholls
• Laurelhurst Market — I’ve yet to have a bad meal here. Butcher shop turned restaurant. Some people insist their lunch sandwiches are the best in Portlandbut the steaks and mussels are unreal on the dinner menu.
• Pok Pok — In NY now so not must do if from there. Otherwise can’t say enough about how excellent it is. (Pok Pok Noi has much shorter waits but smaller menu.)
• Nostrana — Wood oven pizza. Very simply made Northern Italian.
• Little Bird — Open late. Much more accessible than his other restaurant Le Pigeon. (Le Pigeon is great but the menu can fluctuate wildly and the mains never compare to the appetizers and the desserts.
• Mirakutei — Ramen and sushi. I may overrate it but it’s a great izakaya. Tonkatsu ramen is delicious.
• Toro Bravo — Shared mediterranean/spanish plates. Brussel sprouts are amazing.
• Dove Vivi Pizza — Amazing cornmeal crust pizza.
• Roman Candle — Great pizza and sandwiches by Ava Genes team.
• Woodsman Tavern — Central casting of Pacific Northwest food. Delicious oysters. Fantastic.
• Yakuza — Best burger in town. Good sushi but unreal burger.
• Clyde Common — Hipsterdom done right (tasty eats and well crafted cocktails). If they have a chicken on the menu it will be excellent. Also anything wrapped trout.
• Olympic Provisions — Portland Charcuterie. The NW location has amazing chicken.
• Beast — Fixed menu and banquet style. Most well-known Portland restaurant. Quite often leave somehow bummed by one of the dishes.
• Lincoln — Incredible restaurant with a focused menu that uses amazing ingredients. Chicken is best in town.
• Ox — Unreal. Great argentinian inspired meats. Amazing clam chowder with bone marrow.
• Sen Yai — Pok Pok’s noodle place. Super casual but so flavorful.
• Lardo — Former food cart now delicious sandwich place at 3 great locations.
• Ava Genes — Woodsmen’s Italian place. Unreal. My favorite right now! (Spencer says “We followed this recommendation — it was great! The food was all incredible”)
• Yuzu — izakaya in Beaverton that in fantastic. Get the squid.
• Trifecta Tavern — Oysters, steak, super casual Pac NW food. Amazing bread
• Bollywood Theater — Indian street food on NE Alberta and SE Division. Quick and delicious.
• Renata — Gorgeous new restaurant. Great lineage. Great patio. Either awesome or OK.
• Pollo Norte — Mexico City style chicken. Simple and amazing
• Verdigris — French inspired. Every meal here has been fantastic. Brunch great here as well.
• Imperial — Parker house rolls. Amazing fried chicken. Great pork chop.
• Noraneko — Ramen and Fried Chicken that is fantastic. Open until 2 am!
• Biwa — Izakaya with great small plates
• Red Sauce Pizza — Fantastic truffle oil pie.
• Bamboo Sushi — Fantastic sushi and okonoyimaki (oyster pancake)
• Old salt marketplace- butcher shop
• Farm Spirit — Vegan fine dining, very affordable tasting menu

Brunch

• Tasty & Sons — Polenta with sausage ragu
• Podnah’s — I love to go at 12 so I can get the smoked trout off the lunch menu and have it with grits from breakfast menu.
• Screen Door — Southern brunch and dinner spot. The wait is insane.
• Pine State Biscuits — Slightly overrated but the one on NE Alberta is a nice breakfast spot. Wish the biscuits were better. The heaviest breakfast imaginable.
• Proud Mary — Great hip coffee shop/restaurant on Alberta St; we went here for breakfast when we say the size of the Pine State Biscuits line. (Spencer says “The food was amazing! They have a house-made hot sauce that’s :bomb:.com, too. Not super spicy but great flavor. If they offer you hot sauce, say yes.”)
• Broder — Swedish brunch place on SE Clinton and N Interstate. Delicious. Be prepared to wait.
• Irving St Kitchen — Owned by the Town Hall group out of SF. If looking for a place in Pearl sure. If not then keep moving.
• Maurice’s — If they have the menu clicking that day unreal. Desserts are always great. (Lemon Pudding cake…)8) 180 — Xurros on NE Broadway. Chocolate magic.
• Hunnymilk — Only open on Saturday/Sunday. So good it will make you cry. (Spencer says “It was cute! They have books and games while you wait, so it’s a pretty pleasant experience even if you’re not seated right away. Crayons and coloring book things on each table, too. Oh, and the food was great!”)

DRINKS

Beer

• Belmont Station — World Class “Bier Café”Cascade Brewery — Sour beer barThe Horse Brass — Old school oregon beer bar — 50ish world class beers on draft, moderate elitist beer snob disposition (still great though)
• APEX
• The Beer Mongers
• Great Notion
• Kennedy School — a rennovated elementary school that now has a movie theater and live music venue and beer

Cocktails

• Clyde Commons
• Multnomah Whiskey Library
• Rum Club
• Expatriate (also snacks)

Places

• Powell’s Book Store — The world’s biggest private bookstore, YOU MUST GO HERE
• Tanner Goods — A “Cascadian lifestyle aesthetic” store — this place explains Portland all in one shop (fine leather goods, Pendleton wool shirts, etc.)
• Sassy’s — Just consider it if you already had many, many drinks.
• House of Vintage — amazing vintage store

The Great Outdoors

• Multnomah Falls — Easily accessible by car, hikes available if you’re feeling moderately ambitious
• Oneonta gorge — Gorgeous and adventurous (albeit short) hike if you’re feeling decently ambitious and don’t mind climbing over logs and wading through a bit of water. My absolute favorite hike in the gorge.
• Council Crest — The highest point in the city, great eastward views of the city. Nobody ever goes here.
• Mt. Tabor — an inactive volcano in SE. Easy drive/walk up, bitch’n westward views.
• Forest Park — Largest city park in the US — it’s a forest, in the city!
• If you have time to go to the gorge you MUST go do Dog Mountain (~5 miles, you may need to buy a parking pass which you need cash for)

Fun Districts

• Hawthorne — 12th- 45th Ave — Lots of vintage stores, knick knackery and Portland things (you’ll understand when you see it)
• The Pearl — Pleasantly referred to as the boob job of Portland, The Pearl district is the more refined and well-mannered area of Portland. Lots of cafés restaurants and cutsie little stores.
• NE Portland (Alberta St, Williams, Killingsworth St. area) — Currently the hippest neighborhood of the city. 5 years ago it was considered an abandoned wasteland of abject poverty, but now it’s the hippest dip! (Eliza’s note: HEY….this is where I grew up. Watch it. #NEP4life)